05 May 2007

War and Seats

Shift your attention to the folded bleachers surrounding you the next time you find yourself chilling in a stadium. Thousands and thousands of individually numbered seats their own sections and their own areas. In effect, these seats each have a name, a consecutively numbered name, but a name nonetheless.

I wonder if each of these seats have ideas? They must have memories! They’ve been sit on by a whole gamut of individual sports fans for years! How can you go through something like that without having some bizarre memories!

I wonder what seat 15 row 12 section 103 wall AB would think about all of this nonsense? Maybe it’s best friend is seat 14. Perhaps it has a crush on seat 8 in row 11, but that seat is madly in love with some chair seat way over along wall BC... C’est la vie 15-12-103-AB... C’est la vie...

I can see him from here, way up there from the floor... surrounded by, as I said, thousands and thousands of other seats. What makes him so special? They’re all the same... one big homozygous society of bleachers who realize that the chair seats will never truly accept them as equals.

But what makes them unique is their experiences. For instance, the seats along AB and DA are used to home team fans taking root in their personal space during basketball season, whereas BC and CD are used to a more diverse set of game-mates. This results in the ABDA seats obtaining a conservative mentality, far removed from the idea of rooting for anyone but the Racers and who detest the thought of any two colors aside from gold and navy coming into contact with one another.

Conversely, the BCCD seats have adopted a more liberal mentality, accepting any new radical idea that comes across their path. Being that they can’t exactly move to experience life for themselves, they just accept every radical color combination that’s thrown at them.

This results in a red-state/blue-state phenomena. Inciting poor national relations within the stadium. Fortunately for us all,
however, their aforementioned lack of mobility has prevented civil war, and they just shout at one another when the security guard goes to sleep.

Interesting place, stadiums... I’ve been awake too long...

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